We all follow rules.  You follow rules that you create every day.  We do this subconsciously, without being aware that we are following rules that we create.  There are those who say you should not follow rules.  Why nice to think of yourself as a renegade or maverick, at least it was before Sarah Palin called herself that, not following rules is actually a rule we follow.  What is really meant is that you do not follow establishment or government rules.  That you dance to a different drummer.   In reality you are still following rules that you create, we all do.

First it is important that you know what rules you are following.  It would take you way to much effort if you were to think about what rule you were using as you were using it.  That is why you process your rules subconsciously, so you don’t have to think about it, so that it is a natural reaction for you.  That is also why you think it is  build in component or your nature, not rules you choose.  Your subconscious mind is a powerful tool that not only allows you to breath but allows you to process information quickly and helps create your persona.

How do I know which rules I follow?  Ask your friends.  Your friends might not know them as rules you follow but as personality traits.  If you ask your friends what they know about you, inverably they will have an accurate list of they can count on you to do and your quirks.    Your quirks, believe it or not, are actually rules you follow.   We like consistancy of behavior, we like to be able to count that our friends will act a certain way.  Our friends act this way because of rules they follow and we do to.

What you think of as your personality types are just rules that you follow.  Whether you are a type A or laid back you are that way because of the rules you create.  This can be difficult to understand particularly since you were raised to believe that you are a certain way because of your nature.   This is correct from a certain point of view.  Your nature as well as your nurture, how you were raised, determine who you are and what you do.  But they do this by influencing the rules you follow.  You are more likely to follow a rule that your parents followed too.  Or just as likely you will follow a rule that is the complete opposite of the rule that your parents followed.

Another way to find out the rules that you follow is to answer the question:  I always ….  If you are doing something consistently then you are following a rule.  “I always get up early” makes you a morning person but also has you following on of Benjamin Franklins rules “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise”.  Somewhere along the way you enjoyed getting up early, maybe it was to enjoy the quiet or to get a jump start to your day.  It made you feel good and then you, that’s right you, decided that getting up early was good.  And now getting up early is good is a rule that you follow.  That is what makes you a morning person, following the rule that getting up early is good and not only that when you get up early you feel good.  Of course if you are not a morning person, getting up early certainly does not feel good.  Sleeping in makes you feel good and following this rule, sleeping in is good, makes you happiest.  If you create a rule and you do not follow it it makes you unhappy and sometimes miserable.  You want things to be different.   You essentially have two choices, 1) follow the rule you made or 2) create a new rule to follow.  Nothing will make you miserable faster than not following a rule that you’ve made.

What’s the best way to find the rules you should follow?  Or first things first why should I follow rules at all.  Well in reality you follow rules all the time, nope I’m not talking about the government rules, pay your taxes, don’t speed, stop at stoplight kind of rules.  Those are societal kind of rules that is in our best interest to follow.  And as speeding shows we don’t always follow societal rules.

What I’m talking about is your own set of personal rules.  These are you that you made up, yup you made them up out of thin air.  You follow this set of personal rules daily and deviating from them gives you the heeby-jeebies.   I know some people that can’t comprehend why anyone would not follow their rules.  How could you buy something without looking at the price?  They stand in disbelief, believing that some insanity must reside inside the person who would shop without comparison pricing.

This is a rule that that person follows – don’t buy until you find the lowest price – and it works for them.   They are not even aware that this is a rule they follow, it is just something they do.  You have rules that you follow that you are not aware of.  If you stop and think about why you do what you do, you will find a rule behind it.  And us being who we are we think the rules that we follow are the ones everyone else should follow.

But you don;t have to live that way, blindly following rules that while you made, you don’t control.   You can control you your rules or at the very least be aware of them so that they do not control you.  I’m not saying the rules you follow are bad, they work for you, but you can create and follow rules that will help you become the best that you can.

Are you satisfied with where you are in life today?

Do you not struggle during the day?

Do things come easy for you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are following rules that are not allowing you have all the things you want.  Wouldn’t you like to go through the day without struggling?  What would it mean to you if things came easy to you?  They can you just have to be aware of the rules you follow and start following the rules that will create the life you want.

How do you do that?  Start by writing down what you think other people think about you.  Huh? We all have ideas of what others think about us.  You have a reputation that you live up to.  You live up to this reputation because you are following rules that you believe are right.  You follow rules that you think you have to follow even though they are rules that you created.  Now your thinking, I like my rules, that is why I created them in the first place.  If I didn’t like them I would not follow them.  That’s true, not only do you like your rules but you think they are right and true.  Why wouldn’t you follow true and right rules.   Short answer, you do, but you also want to follow rules that help you live the life you want to live

Introduction

How rules can change your life.

Looking at it from a childs point of view.

How rules can change your life.   Did you know that are disciplined not only live longer but lead happier lives.  This book is about putting meaning back into your family life and focusing on what is most important for you and your family.  In these economic challenging times refocusing back on that which is our purpose grounds us.   Understanding our values and problems shines a light on who we are and who we want to be.

How can family rules change this for us?  They create a foundation on which we can build our values and change the way we react to the world around us.  How do we know what is good?  In reality we can’t.  Determining if something is good or bad is all about our perspective and where we are sitting to view what is happening to us.  Often when people talk about turning bad things that happen into a positive, they are just shifting their viewpoint to look at it in a different way.  In reality nothing has changed but how they look at that “bad” thing that happened to them.  We have the opportunity to do that every day.

Family rules is about seeking out each day in wonderment.  What will happen this day that will surprise and amaze me?  It’s like that new car you are looking at.  When you decide on a make of a vehicle all of a sudden you start to see them everywhere.  I remember when we were looking to buy a minivan.  No I did not mistype porsche.  When we were looking at minivans we saw them everywhere and when we decided on a make, it seemed everytime we went out there one was.  It’s the same with looking at things to be amazed at, the more you look the more you will find.  Not only that, just like the make and color, the more focused your looking the more focused your finding.

I love the definition of wonder found at Merriam Webster: “rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one’s experience”.   If we start to look for something awesome and new to our experience we undoubtedly will find it.  If I told you that this day something wonderful would happen, but I did not tell you when, you would constantly be looking for it and at the end of the day you could tell me what happened that was wonderful.  However if I do not tell you before hand and simply ask you at the end of the day what happened that was wonderful, most likely you would say nothing happened.

What was the difference in your day.  Most likely nothing, just the expectation and paying attention.  If you expect something and look for it you have a much greater chance of finding it.  Like the classic vase/portrait picture.  If I tell you here is a picture of a vase you will certainly see that.  Look at the picture below can you see the vase.  Now if I tell you it is a picture of two people facing each other you will certainly see that.   Your expectation of what is there colors what you actually see.  That is why when you are thinking about a type of car, that type of car starts to appear all over the place.  Are there actually more cars, did you attract them with your thoughts, nope you just started to notice them and the noticing changed your experience.

Facing the new day with a sense of wonderment, looking for something that will awe or amaze us, changes our how day unfolds.  Danial Pink in his book, Looking from the Right Side of the Brain, describes having a design notebook, where you note down the things you encounter of good design.  What happens, you start to make a distinction of what you consider to be good design and you notice good design everywhere.

Family Rules to Live By

Seven Rules to Rule your Life

Seven Rules for Success & Happiness

Creating Family Rules

Family Rules for Business

How to create rules for your family

Great family care through rules

Rules to love and live by

Create family harmony by creating rules together

How to include your family by making rules together

The family that rules together stays together

Loving your family through rules

Family guide for conduct and action

Prescribed guide for family living

Creating fundamental principles

Putting values into practice

Framework for family harmony

Direction for family management

Rules for family mastery

Blueprint for family cohesiveness

Recipe for family rules

Formula for family success

Guidelines for creating rules

Principles to create and follow

code, constitution, decalogue; act, law, ordinance, statute; command, decree, dictate, directive, edict, fiat, order; axiom, fundamental, maxim, precept; moral, principle, value; prohibition, restriction; convention, custom, habit, manners, mores, practice (also practise), tradition, way; blueprint, canon, formula, guide, guideline, recipe, standard